Michigan Gov Whitmer Hires Liam Neeson In Case She Gets Taken

LANSING – Last week, a plot to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen (Cruella) de Whitmer was foiled by law enforcement officials. The plot was planned by a far-left group of anarchists who wanted to overthrow the government. However, the would-be kidnappers fought the law….and the law won. Still, Cruella was shaken by the revelation. So much so that she’s now hired actor Liam Neeson as her personal bodyguard. You may remember Neeson is famous for his roles in the movies Taken, Taken 2, and Taken 3. He’s currently working on the…

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Michigan Gov Whitmer Says She’ll Use Spells, Curses To Maintain Power Over Angry Peasants

Whitmer

LAND OF LANSING – Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer is not having a good lock-down. She’s been unpleasantly surprised at how the peasants have reacted to the authoritarian rule from her corrupt kingdom. She believes her power to be absolute as governor. Her legislature disagrees. In fact, not only will they not allow her edict to extend Michigan’s lock-down indefinitely, but they voted today to sue the witch for abusing her power. Currently, Queen Whitmer is trying to fend off several other Democrats around the country for the title of Worst…

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