Wife Orders Shrimp Instead of Steak, Leaves James Comey ‘Confused and Concerned’

comey

WASHINGTON – Trying to enjoy a nice dinner with his wife at an upscale DC restaurant following his tense testimony to Congress, former FBI director James Comey was left “confused and concerned” after his wife threw him a curve ball while ordering. “We’ve eaten at this place many times in the past,” a flustered Comey said. “She always has a nice steak, occasionally a pasta dish, but tonight, out of nowhere, she orders the shrimp dish. I don’t know what to make of it! I’m thinking turf the whole time,…

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Bars Serving Democrats Comey Happy Hour Specials, “Nothingburgers with Russian Dressing”

WASHINGTON – Bars in the nation’s capitol will be opening at 9 am Thursday to take advantage of the local demand to watch former FBI director James Comey’s testimony to a congressional committee. Comey will be discussing details that Democrats hope will lead to President Trump being drawn and quartered in the public square. However, because there is a high likelihood that his testimony will be less than satisfactory to those with Trump Derangement Syndrome, bars are offering happy hour specials to patrons. Curtis Parker, manager of the Red Derby…

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Ticket Prices Top $3K Each for Front Row at Comey Hearing

hearing

WASHINGTON – Ticket scalpers and representatives from StubHub have revealed that the ticket price for a front row seat at the Thursday congressional hearing with former FBI director James Comey has topped the $3,000 mark. “I’m getting $1200 per for seats in the balcony!” one scalper told us. “It may turn out to be a complete dud, but this thing is selling like the Super Bowl. The place will be standing room only and, you know, there’s nothing like seeing a political hearing in person.” Ticket outlet StubHub said they’re…

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