CNN’s Chris Cuomo Insists He Doesn’t Have Any Brothers

Cuomo brothers

NEW YORK – CNN anchor Chris “Fredo” Cuomo has become tangled in scandal. The cocky TV host has been tied to brother Andrew Cuomo’s sex scandal. However, in typical CNN spin fashion, Chris now claims that he’s never had any brothers. Talking to the only ‘brother’ he claims to be close to, anchor Don Lemon, Cuomo said, “Don, you know me. We go way back. I’ve always had your back, no matter how bizarre or racist your takes have always been, haven’t I?” “Yes you have, brother,” Lemon responded. “People…

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VP Harris Visits Guatemala/San Salvador Border To Quell Criticism She’s Ignoring Border Crisis

GUATEMALA – Kamala Harris is sick of peasants who say she’s been avoiding going to the border. She’s currently on a talking tour in Central America to show that she’s pretending to care about America’s border crisis. The VP was visibly pissed when NBC’s Lester Holt questioned why she hasn’t visited the border to see for herself how bad things really are there. So she decided to call Lester’s bluff. This afternoon, in a surprise move, Harris showed up at the border between Guatemala and San Salvador. “See? I’ve gone…

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Hillary Clinton Avoiding Louisiana for Fear of Drowning

THE HAMPTONS – Tired of hearing about not visiting those suffering through the flooding situation in Louisiana, Hillary Clinton finally admitted why she has avoided the state. She said a trip to the waterlogged area would present a clear and present danger to her safety. “I’m mostly worried about drowning,” Hillary said. “Have you seen the water levels there?! If I fell, I could drown! In case you haven’t been paying attention, I’m not the most agile person in the country. I could go down any minute, and the water…

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