Unhinged Leftists Demand US Abolish ICE: ICE, Baby

LOS ANGELES – Saying “Ice is gonna be around for a while,” 90’s rapper Vanilla Ice is brushing off demands by leftist activists that President Trump get rid of him. It remains unclear why people angry over immigration policy have suddenly called for the abolition of the former singer. “These protesters are whack, yo,” Vanilla said. “They need to stop…..collaborate and listen. Then, check out the hook while my DJ revolves it. I’m building houses in Florida these days, yo. I don’t have nothin’ to do with any of that…

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Immigrant Child Cries Because Trump Can’t Make Her Country Great Again Too

US SOUTHERN BORDER – Time magazine has immortalized the image of a young immigrant child as she first learns that Donald Trump cannot be president in her home country – and can’t make her country great again too. The picture, showing the American president engaged in a conversation with a Central American toddler, captures the moment the realization hits the youngster that Trump cannot be in charge of her country as well. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but if the terrible leaders in your country would just follow my example, they could…

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Immigration: Trump Ends Catch & Release, Enacts Tag ‘Em & Bag ‘Em Rule

WASHINGTON – President Trump signed an order this week that changes the way illegal aliens are treated if they’re caught trying to cross our southern border from Mexico. The president’s new ‘Tag ‘Em & Bag ‘Em’ program replaces immediately the ‘Catch & Release’ policy used by past administrations. Previously, Border Patrol agents were forced to release illegals they caught crossing the border, unless certain height and weight requirements of the detained were met. If the requirements were not met, or were exceeded for that day, Border Patrol personnel were forced…

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White House Shuts Down ‘Giant Amnesty’ Plan: No Giants Allowed

WASHINGTON – Saying America has enough problems already, White House spokesperson Sarah Sanders said today that having giants roaming the country is something the Trump administration will not stand for at this time. “President Trump is adamant that he will not sign any immigration bill that contains a ‘giant amnesty’ plan,” Sanders told reporters. “The president has 99 problems, but allowing giants into our country is not going to be one of them.” CNN’s Jim Acosta immediately asked if this decision made the president a “heightist,” and Sanders quickly made…

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