Biden Promises To Rescue Any Americans Stuck In Ukraine With Seal Team Brandon

Seal Team Brandon

WASHINGTON – Joe Biden’s Afghanistan exit last year set the gold standard for evacuation efforts from a war-torn country. He’ll tell you that himself. So, as war seems inevitable between Russia and Ukraine, the time for Americans to get out of Ukraine is now. Acting President Jen Psaki, the one who ultimately tells us what Joe meant to say, explained today. “We are telling all Americans in Ukraine, and their families, to leave Ukraine now. We have no idea how to handle this Russian aggression. But, there is hope. Joe…

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As Biden Fails, Numbers In LGBFJB+ Community Swells To Record Levels

LGBFJB+

AMERICA – President Biden sucks, most of us can agree on that. His extreme suckage has even created a new social class. The LGBFJB+ (Let’s Go Brandon F*ck Joe Biden+) community is growing exponentially. Sports fans across the country sing his praises during games. LGBFJB+ has begun appearing on t-shirts, signs, etc. everywhere. People want to feel they’re part of something. So, as the president continues to overreach and intrude more into our lives, those who realize how bad he sucks needed a unified voice. The + at the end…

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Reporters Shout ‘President Brandon? President Brandon?!’ As He Turns Back On Questions

President Brandon

WASHINGTON – No matter the topic, the American president doesn’t care about your questions. After every speech, he tucks his tail, turns his back on reporters, and leaves the room. The prez has failed at everything he touches, except at being a coward. There, he excels. Since stupid reporters believe chants at sporting events of “F*** Joe Biden!” are really chants of “Let’s Go, Brandon!” they’ll keep the lie going. So, after his most recent speech following a devastating jobs report, reporters continued the lie. As Biden said ‘thank you’…

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