California Gov Touts ‘Apocalyptic Camping’ Industry: Fun For The Whole Family

CALIFORNIA – The Golden State is becoming known as The Stop, Drop & Roll State. So, as wildfires choke the West Coast with smoke, the governor is touting a new industry. Apocalyptic camping. Governor Gavin Newsom starred in a new ad campaign this week, encouraging tourism from those seeking a depressing, bleak, and unhealthy way to get away from it all. “Where else can you lay under orangy skies without dropping acid first?” Newsom mentioned some of the benefits of apocalyptic camping. “You don’t have to worry about wildlife. I…

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Statues Have Had It With Leftist Thugs, Statuephobic Anarchists

AMERICA – Statues are under attack around the world from the intolerant Left. However, as more and more of their inanimate friends get torn down, or defaced with paint, statues are starting to stand up for themselves. Statues, even some that have stood in peace for hundreds of years, are being assaulted by psychotic thugs who have developed statuephobia. According to the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, the disorder is “an irrational fear of historical figures that can’t fight back.” It falls under the umbrella of conditions caused by the mental…

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Statueism, Statuephobia Reaching Epidemic Levels Among American Left

DURHAM – Hatred and fear of statues has reached a fever pitch among liberal activists these days. Psychiatrists are seeing skyrocketing numbers in cases of statueism and statuephobia, in addition to the basic mental illness of liberalism, especially in poorly educated, college millennials. Statueism is defined as “prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against an inanimate sculpture, based on the fact that it hurts one’s feelings.” Statuephobia is defined as “an extreme or irrational fear of statues, especially those of historical figures.” Not understanding how to deal with their intolerance and…

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Democrats Freaking Because Pre-Existing Condition of Liberalism May Not Be Covered

WASHINGTON – While many pre-existing conditions will be addressed as Congress continues to work out details of a new health care bill, Democrats are freaking out, worrying that their debilitating, degenerative condition known as liberalism may not be covered in new legislation. Obamacare covered this mental illness, though many Democrats could not afford the high deductibles for coverage. The condition is technically known as “Democrat’s Dementia” (DD). The name is derived from “Dem” for Democrat and the Latin suffix “-mentia,” meaning “condition of the mind.” Symptoms of DD include; automatically…

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