Trump Closes Michigan Rally With Tribute To Ted Nugent

Michigan

GRAND RAPIDS – The raucous crowd attending President Trump’s rally last night were treated to a surprise concert to close the event, when the president paid tribute to Michigan rocker and MAGA supporter Ted Nugent. After hitting all the right political notes, Trump delighted his audience by performing a number of the Motor City Madman’s hits. The president performed his versions of Nugent classics such as Stranglehold, Free-For-All, Dog Eat Dog, Wang Dang Sweet Poontang, Stormtroopin’, Wango Tango, and Cat Scratch Fever. Details are sketchy as to whether Uncle Ted…

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Texas Anti-Trump Tough Guy New Face of #MeTool, #WhataDick Movements

SAN ANTONIO – A 30-year old local tough guy, Kino Jimenez, has received endorsement deals to be the face of the new #MeTool and #WhataDick movements. Jimenez flexed his social justice muscles at a Whataburger restaurant this week by ripping the red MAGA (Make America Great Again) hat off a 16-year old kid and cussing the kid out for wearing it. The teenager was minding his own business. The #MeTool movement is the latest hashtag warriorism for liberal dudes who act like tools to people they disagree with – and…

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Immigrant Child Cries Because Trump Can’t Make Her Country Great Again Too

US SOUTHERN BORDER – Time magazine has immortalized the image of a young immigrant child as she first learns that Donald Trump cannot be president in her home country – and can’t make her country great again too. The picture, showing the American president engaged in a conversation with a Central American toddler, captures the moment the realization hits the youngster that Trump cannot be in charge of her country as well. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but if the terrible leaders in your country would just follow my example, they could…

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