Chicago’s Mayor LightSocket Admits 21 Shot, 6 Dead Was Slow Weekend

CHI-TOWN – It was a slightly slower than normal weekend of death and bloodshed in Chicago this weekend. Only 21 people were shot in the Democrat-led city, resulting in 6 deaths. Mayor Lori LightSocket (named so because of her hair, although her maiden name is Lightfoot) has reason for concern. “I was surprised by the numbers, frankly,” Mayor LightSocket said. “Maybe some folks were doing a little back-to-school looting over the weekend. Or maybe more people hit the lakes this weekend. For whatever reason, I think people were busy doing…

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NYC Mayor Hints Giving Gift Cards To Rioters Would Stop Them From Looting

gift cards

NEW YORK CITY – Bill de Blasio is New York City’s mayor. Yes, he’s a real piece of work. He consistently sets the standard for being weak, incompetent, lazy, and an appeaser. So, it’s no surprise that he doesn’t fault the criminals who’ve been looting his city for a week now. “Appeasing the wrong side is my trademark, ” de Blasio said Monday. “That’s why, instead of letting the NYPD do their job and put an end to the destruction these angry protesters have wrought on my town, I’ve got…

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