Democrats: Cohen Testimony Gave Us A Lot To Daydream About

WASHINGTON – Not having a firm grasp on reality anyway, congressional Democrats were satisfied with testimony they heard from former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen this week. Most agreed that his version of lies about the president “gave them a lot to daydream about.” Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) commented, “Mr. Cohen bolstered my imagined perception that the president is a racist and bigot, and that I’m not. That’s how I choose to see things. Like with the Russian collusion, just because it’s a hoax, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t make me happy…

Read More

Democrats Hinge Hopes On Ex-Trump Lawyer Droopy Cohen

Cohen

WASHINGTON – In a desperate attempt to nail President Trump, Democrats in Congress are hoping his former lawyer, Michael “Droopy” Cohen, can give them some good dirt to use against him. The atmosphere during Cohen’s testimony has been electric, with yawns and letdowns aplenty. House Democrat Elijah Cummings announced that Cohen’s testimony today is being sponsored by No-Doz Maximum Strength Alertness Aid. Droopy, a convicted liar who will be behind bars soon, had half the chamber napping before he finished his opening statement. In fact, Cummings brought in Eeyore, he…

Read More

Lawyer Michael Cohen Achieves Dream Of Becoming Recording Artist, DJ

WASHINGTON – Working under the name “DJ Droopy,” former Trump attorney Michael Cohen has revealed that he always hoped to become a professional disc jockey or recording artist. His dreams are now coming true. Cohen has recorded 183 sessions between himself and various clients (including a few with President Trump) and word is that he’s putting together a mix-tape of some of the tracks to present to Robert Mueller. Though almost through with the editing process, a release date for the new material has not yet been announced. Cohen, who…

Read More