Michael Moore Kneels in NFL Solidarity, 4.6 Quake Hits Michigan

NFL

MICHIGAN – Showing his solidarity with NFL social justice players, filmmaker Michael Moore took a knee today to join in protest over the national anthem controversy. Just after Moore took a knee, seismologists at the University of Michigan reported a rare 4.6 magnitude earthquake in the state. While the epicenter was determined to be in the Flint area, the quake was felt as far away as Fort Wayne, Indiana, Akron, Ohio and Houghton Lake in northern Michigan. And while Moore’s kneel down may have affected the most people, he wasn’t…

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Women’s Marchers Name Michael Moore as Their Ideal Male

WASHINGTON – Michael Moore is just too good looking, too fit, too charming, and too smart for his own good. At the Women’s March to protest Donald Trump’s presidency in DC today, Moore was named “The Ideal Male” by millions of self-identifying females – most of whom admit that the stud is really the best they could ever hope to land, anyway. “Look at the queso dripping from the corners of his mouth while he speaks to us! And he smells like pepperoni. He’s a dreamboat,” said Mitzi Larken, a…

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