CNN: Mueller Report Racist Because Redactions Made In Black

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NEW YORK – Members of CNN’s news team were outraged today when the long-awaited Mueller Report was released, but with some redactions being colored black. Anchor Don Lemon and contributor Van Jones were the most triggered by the incident. “This is preposterous!” Van Jones firmly stated. “Attorney General Barr could have made redactions in any color. They DO have color printers at the Department of Justice, I’m sure. This was intentional. What we’re seeing in this report are ‘re-Black-tions,’ and it’s a slap in the face to all people of…

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Mueller Report To Be Released As Picture Book For Democrats

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WASHINGTON – Democrats are having a hard time understanding what “No Collusion” and “No Obstruction” means. So to help them more easily understand Robert Mueller’s report and conclusions, Attorney General William Barr will release a version of Mueller’s findings in a picture book format. “I hope with the addition of illustrative pictures, the explanation of no collusion and no obstruction on the part of the president will be easier for them to comprehend,” Barr told reporters after a congressional hearing today. “Because, so far, they’re just not getting it.” “We’re…

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