Andrew Cuomo: Don’t Want To Live In World Where Random Groping Is Not Appreciated

NEW YORK – Governor Andrew Cuomo has had enough. Enough with having to try to live in a normal society. Enough with chicks not understanding how wonderful he is. And enough of women not appreciating his random groping. So, he’s quitting as governor. He told his subjects: “I love my state. I love the people of New York. And by love, I mean I want to have sex with them. But if this is now going to be a world where random groping is frowned upon…that’s a society I don’t…

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Democrats Begging Tide for ‘Sour Cream and Onion’ Flavor Pods

Tide

NEW YORK – Despite warning labels telling consumers not to eat their product, people, mostly Democrats, continue to eat Procter & Gamble’s Tide Pod detergent pacs. The colorful pacs are becoming such a health issue that New York State legislators are demanding that the manufacturer stop making the pods so delicious looking. “Many of our citizens are not smart enough to know better than to eat Tide Pod detergent pacs,” a New York state representative who wished to remain anonymous declared. “Full disclosure here: I love the Spring Meadow scented…

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