Liberal Supremacist and White Supremacist Groups Clash in Asshole Olympics

CHARLOTTSVILLE – The Asshole Olympics were held this weekend in Virginia, and both sides brought their “A” game. White supremacists faced off against liberal supremacists (those who like to call themselves anti-fascists, or as the media call them, “counter-protesters,” and the results were explosive. While the vast majority of America shook its collective head, the two fringe groups punched, kicked, and mowed each other down with as much hate and anger as they could muster. The competition left several players dead and numerous others with serious injuries. The battle of…

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Michael Phelps Contemplating Rehab for Gold Addiction

RIO – American swimming champion, Michael Phelps, has had a long term addiction to gold. And now that he’s thinking about hanging up his Speedo, he’s thinking it may finally be time to address his addiction. Phelps has tried to wean himself off of gold with other medals like silver and bronze, but he relapsed each time and went back to his gold habit. After refusing to acknowledge his gold addiction in 3 separate Olympics, in 3 different parts of the world, Phelps finally appears to be ready to ask…

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