Presidential Debate Postponed As Nation Mourns Beyoncé’s Bloody Ear

LAS VEGAS – The third and final presidential debate has been postponed for one week due to the tragedy that befell Michelle Obama’s daughter’s role model, Beyoncé, over the weekend. In a horrific accident the singer suffered while performing, an earring came out, causing her ear to bleed – onstage! A big supporter of Hillary Clinton, Beyoncé “powered through” the pain to complete her performance, before seeking medical attention backstage. Her fans immediately took to Twitter to post pictures of themselves bleeding from self-inflicted wounds, in support of their queen.…

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Hillary Clinton to Kneel During National Anthem Before Debate

NEW YORK – To continue her pandering to the Black Lives Matter crowd, Hillary Clinton has decided to kneel during the singing of the national anthem, performed just prior to the big presidential debate with Donald Trump. The move is a risky one, since Clinton is not sure she will be able to get to her feet once she kneels, and would therefore have to do the entire debate from a kneeling, sitting, or laying position. But the risk is worth it if it brings her more votes. “I feel…

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