Joe Biden Signs Exec Order Barring Ghosts From Owning Guns

WASHINGTON – President Joe Biden today signed an executive order effectively banning any ghost from owning a gun. During his speech, he said there is an epidemic of gun violence, and laid the blame at the feet of the paranormal. “We can all agree that ghosts are scary,” the president announced. “And we can all agree that guns are scary. But the only thing scarier is a ghost with a gun. So today, I am signing an EO that will target the sales of ghost guns. My action will make…

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Biden: Texans Can Achieve Unity By Huddling Together For Warmth

WASHINGTON – President Joe Biden always says he’s going to bring America together. The so-called Great Healing. He has no ideas on how to make that a reality, but that never matters. But as millions of Texans shiver through another frigid day without power and water, Biden sees an angle. He says that Texans being forced to huddle together just to keep warm is promoting unity. “When you’re freezing your balls off, you don’t care if the people next to you, keeping you warm, are Republicans or Democrats,” Joe told…

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