Left Calls Trump Racist After He Insults Rats Of Color In Baltimore

Baltimore

WEST BALTIMORE – President Trump is facing new attacks of racism after insulting Democrat Elijah Cummings and the rats of color that populate his district. Most of the rodents in this city are either gray, black or brown – making them rats of color. After the president brought attention to the rat infestation problem that has long been neglected by Rep. Cummings, the congressman fired back angrily. “If our rats were white, I guarantee our racist president wouldn’t have said a word about this! And not that I spend much…

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CNN: Mueller Report Racist Because Redactions Made In Black

redactions

NEW YORK – Members of CNN’s news team were outraged today when the long-awaited Mueller Report was released, but with some redactions being colored black. Anchor Don Lemon and contributor Van Jones were the most triggered by the incident. “This is preposterous!” Van Jones firmly stated. “Attorney General Barr could have made redactions in any color. They DO have color printers at the Department of Justice, I’m sure. This was intentional. What we’re seeing in this report are ‘re-Black-tions,’ and it’s a slap in the face to all people of…

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Yearbook: Ralph Northam Voted Most Likely To Resign In Disgrace

VIRGINIA – Although he’s denying it at the moment, the clock is ticking down to when the state’s governor will have to resign. Ralph Northam (Dem/Socialist – VA), is embroiled in a race/abortion controversy, going back to his med-school days in 1984. The governor first made headlines for saying babies could be aborted after birth. If they aren’t allowed to abort them, Ralph says they should at least be able to paint the newborns’ faces with blackface, then shove the babies back into the mother. You know, out of sight…

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Leftists Demand White Americans Get Permission Before Using Word MONKEY

FLORIDA – The word police on the American left aren’t happy with the use of the word “monkey” after Florida governor hopeful Ron DeSantis used it in a political discussion this week. Though not a monkey, his opponent is an African-American man. Progressives have deemed the word racist if it’s used by a white person and there’s a black person within 500 miles. Going forward, progressive word Nazi’s are demanding that all white people ask for, and receive, permission from them before using the word “monkey” in any setting. Leftists…

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United Airlines Flight Latest to Get She-Jacked

she-jacked

HOUSTON – United Airlines has had a rough 2017, just ask their passengers. Some have been beaten, dragged off and bloodied for attempting to fly on the airline. Now, the sky has a new menace; She-Jackings. Last week, air traffic controllers at Bush Intercontinental Airport were notified that United Airlines flight 788 had been She-Jacked. A She-Jacking is defined by the Federal Aviation Administration as “an incident in which a racist member of Congress, named Sheila Jackson Lee, commits an act of entitlement against passengers on a commercial flight.” Jackson…

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Black Lives Matter: “Most Racist Super Bowl Ever”

HOUSTON – Ever the ones to see race in every aspect of life, members of Black Lives Matter charged that this year’s Super Bowl was the most racist NFL championship game ever. They’re disgusted by the loss the Falcons suffered, and here’s why. Deray McKesson, a spokesperson for the group, said, “First of all, Tom Brady, and his team in white, beat the guys wearing black (helmets). That’s bad enough right there. The Patriots also know good and well that Atlanta has a high population of black brothers and sisters.…

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The Barbed Wire: Newest Member of the Mainstream Media

TEXAS – With all the recent talk of “fake news” sites out there, and social media like Twitter and Facebook vowing to crack down on them, it’s no wonder there is a lot of confusion about the subject. Here at The Barbed Wire, we’d like to help clear things up. The Barbed Wire is satire for conservatives. We make fun of progressives and their silly ideas and actions. When our stories get posted, the word “satire” is right there in the address. You have to try to miss it. We…

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