Trans Character ‘Aunt Jeremiah’ To Replace Aunt Jemima Likeness, Appease Rage Mob

PHILADELPHIA – The suits at Pepsico/Quaker Foods have cowered to the rage mob of the American Left. The company makes Aunt Jemima products, and has decided to bow to pressure from Black Lives Matter (BLM) and other extremists by replacing the iconic mascot. The likeness of a former slave has been used on the product line for over a century. “We’ve decided to go with ‘Aunt Jeremiah’ as our new mascot for the product line,” a company spokesman said. “Jeremiah is a character who has completed their transition from uncle…

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Midterms: Registered Democrats to Receive Torches, Pitchforks After Voting

pitchforks

WASHINGTON – Forget those “I Voted” stickers that voters are usually offered after casting their ballot. They’re so 2016. This November, voting Democrats will each receive torches and pitchforks as they exit polling places. The Democratic National Committee announced Sunday that the giveaway will help Democrats be ready to join their local rage mob if midterm election results do not go their way. However, DNC chairman Tom Perez stressed that voters will have to provide their own fire starter and/or kerosene. “We can’t afford to supply everything,” Perez noted. “In…

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