Willie Nelson Releases Song List For Beto O’Rourke Rally

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AUSTIN – Music legend Willie Nelson has never performed a free concert in support of a political candidate. Until now. He’s chosen to break his streak with a concert in support of socialist Texas senate candidate, Beto O’Rourke. O’Rourke will face Senator Ted Cruz in November’s midterm election. Nelson has performed at fundraisers for past political candidates like Wendy Davis and Dennis Kucinich, but this one will be free and open to the public. Willie will perform for all who come out to Lady Bird Lake and sit amongst the…

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CNN Furious After Trump Calls MSNBC Bottom of Fake News Barrel

ATLANTA – CNN personalities are furious after President Trump called MSNBC “the worst of all” when it comes to fake news outlets. His comments took place at a rally this weekend. It was bad enough for the network when Trump supporters made CNN reporter Jim Acosta cry at the event. Now this. Their bad weekend got worse when the president gave the worst news outlet title to MSNBC instead. CNN has long prided itself on being the leader in fake news, and their ratings bear out that fact. But the…

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Hillary Hangs With Her Homies, Pimps, Bitches, Jay-Z and Beyonce

CLEVELAND – Proving she’s the hippest grandma ever to seek the presidency, Hillary Clinton held a campaign rally where she hung out with her very close homies, Jay-Z and Beyonce. After pumping up the crowd with a barrage of f-bombs and n-words from the music superstars, Hillary addressed the supporters in her usual, screeching manner: “Oh, thank you, thank you! I have so enjoyed having Usher and Bounce here to entertain us all tonight (strange looks from Jay-Z and Beyonce). I’ve been a big fan of rap music since I…

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Hillary Plans to Eliminate Coughing for All Americans If Elected

NEW YORK – During a rally for millennials today, admitted coughaphobe Hillary Clinton vowed to end coughing, once and for all, for all Americans if she makes it into the White House. The promise follows her other vows to eliminate college tuition, eliminate childcare expenses, eliminate guns, and eliminate Republicans. “As many of you know, I’ve never been a fan of coughing,” Clinton told the enthusiastic crowd. “Oh sure, doctors will tell you that a cough is healthy. That’s it’s expelling a foreign substance that your body is rejecting. But…

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