AZ Hoping McCain/Flake Senate Seats May Flip Red Next Election

ARIZONA – With Jeff Flake getting hit by the door on his way out, and John McCain battling declining health and a ‘Go to Hell, Voters!’ attitude, Arizonans are hopeful that in the near future the state’s two Senate seats may finally have a chance to flip red in coming elections. Both Flake (D-AZ) and Senator McCain (D-AZ) like to call themselves Republicans, while voting and acting like Democrats. John McCain is currently checking off his bitter bucket list, determined to piss off as many people as he can on…

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GOP’s McConnell, Ryan ‘Confident We Can Screw Up Tax Reform Too’

WASHINGTON – Still licking their wounds after being humiliated by Senator John McCain (D-AZ) in the latest Obamacare repeal effort, Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan said they still believe they can fail in the future too. “We still feel extremely confident that we can screw up tax reform, which is coming up next, and anything else that we attempt to tackle on behalf of the American people,” McConnell said. “We don’t know how much longer we’ll have Senator McCain around to help us screw the…

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GOP Names Obama’s Ego Honorary Republican

WASHINGTON – House Republicans will pass a resolution designating President Barack Obama’s ego as an “honorary Republican,” when they return to work after the holiday. The legislation is meant to be a hat tip to the president, on his way out of office, for being so completely tone-deaf because of his massive ego. So massive, in fact, that he did more to grow the Republican Party than the GOP could have ever done by themselves. “It’s the least we can do,” said Rep. Jim Jordan. “The guy has screwed up…

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