Perv Al Franken: The Video Was Funnier, Shows Me Saying Honk, Honk

MINNESOTA – Senator Al Franken, busted today for a photo showing him groping Leeann Tweeden in 2006 while she was sleeping on a flight back from the Middle East, says the public would get the joke if they could just see the video of the incident. “The photo alone makes me look really creepy and perverted,” Franken admitted, “But the video is what everybody needs to see. It’s much funnier. Right after the shot in the photo was taken, I said ‘honk, honk!’ as I squeezed my hands over her…

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Dems Offer Reward For Anyone Finding Their Moral Authority

WASHINGTON – Democratic Party chair Tom Perez has posted an ad in the DC classifieds offering a reward to anyone who knows the whereabouts of the party’s moral authority. Unaware that Democrats lost their moral authority during the Clinton-Lewinsky years of the 1990’s, Perez is hoping someone out there can shed light on its current location. “I’m actually a little embarrassed,” Perez admitted. “We’ve been acting holier than thou when we slam Republicans about their alleged scandals, while looking the other way at misdeeds committed by our own, but I…

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