Trump Plans to Live-Tweet During His SOTU Speech

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WASHINGTON – Following the reading of parts of Fire and Fury by Hillary Clinton at the Grammy’s this weekend, President Trump says he will live-tweet during his State of the Union speech Tuesday night. He said he plans to read excerpts from Hillary’s What Happened excuse book as well. When he’s not gesturing with his hands during his speech, he’ll be feverishly working his thumbs behind the podium to tweet about Jay-Z, Eminem, Joy Behar, Anna Navarro and many others. “I can maintain focus on letting the country know how…

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Mitch McConnell Delays Recess for Congressional Babies

recess

WASHINGTON – Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell broke the bad news to the children in Congress yesterday – no recess time until you buckle down and complete your work. He reminded his colleagues that recess is a privilege, not a right. “Look, I love the jungle gym as much as anybody,” a grim McConnell deadpanned, “But we need to stop playing before we work. Just because that’s how Mr. Obama did things, it doesn’t mean it’s the best way.” Playground bully, Democrat Chuckie Schumer, wasn’t pleased to hear the news.…

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Pelosi, Schumer, Warren Sing Refugee Anthem “This Land is Their Land”

WASHINGTON – On the steps outside the Supreme Court this week, musical history was made when top Democratic leaders recorded their version of the Woody Guthrie song “This Land is Our Land.” Of course, the congressional singers had to change up the lyrics a little to match their current worldview. The recording was made during a protest over President Trump’s refugee travel ban, when the microphone quit working, and Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Elizabeth Warren and others did what any group of intelligent people would do – they broke into…

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