General Assembly Adopts ‘Virginia Is For Shoe Polish Lovers’ Slogan

virginia

RICHMOND – In the wake of an ongoing blackface controversy involving its state leaders, Virginia’s General Assembly updated the state’s slogan today. “Virginia Is For Lovers,” the state’s well known tagline, has been updated to “Virginia Is For Shoe Polish Lovers.” With news coming out that Governor Ralph Northam and Attorney General Mark Herring both sported blackface in their college days, the governing body felt the update was justified. The news explains why Virginia has lead the country in shoe polish sales for decades. Minority leader Eileen Filler-Corn stated, “Hey,…

Read More

Nike Updates Slogan, Tagline: Just Disrespect It

BEAVERTON – Nike, the Oregon-based athletic apparel and shoe giant, has decided to update its brand. The company just announced that social justice anthem-kneeler Colin Kaepernick will be the face of their 30th anniversary marketing campaign. The campaign centers on alienating millions of loyal customers by disrespecting the American flag, the national anthem, and police officers everywhere. Thus, the new slogan, “Just Disrespect It,” replaces the familiar “Just Do It” that’s known worldwide. In addition to the new slogan, Nike is using the following tagline to go along with it:…

Read More

Democrats’ 2018 Slogan: ‘For the Sheeple,’ ‘For the Illegals’ Almost Win

slogan

WASHINGTON – “For the People” is the new campaign slogan chosen for Democrats during the 2018 midterm election season. But the slogan didn’t win by much. Several other suggestions were wanted by party higher-ups, who felt other taglines better portrayed the vibe of Democrats these days. “We really wanted either ‘For the Sheeple,’ or ‘For the Illegals,’ Party Chairman Tom Perez said. “Most of our supporters are sheeple, so that was a no-brainer. I thought that was a slam dunk. But my co-chair Keith Ellison, and leaders Schumer and Pelosi,…

Read More

Democrats Promise ‘A Better Deal’ With Same Wackos In Charge

WASHINGTON – What’s that saying? “The more things change, the more they stay the same?” That’s the game Democrats are playing with the American people as they try to put one over on the low-info crowd. The party’s Dept. of Official Slogan Creation has been working overtime to come up with their latest gem: “A Better Deal.” “Better cliches, better pandering. Papa Schumer.” This rebranding effort is sure to meet with the same success Coca-Cola had with their launch of New Coke in the 1980’s. The hype was crazy for…

Read More