Officials Announce New ‘Social Justice Distancing’ Rules For Woke Protesters

social justice distancing

SEATTLE – We’re all familiar with ‘social distancing’ guidelines. Now, there are also ‘social justice distancing’ guidelines for the woke among us. City leaders here have outlined new rules for progressive protesters and looters, to keep them safe in the Covid-19 age. According to a press release on Friday, “If you’re around people in normal situations, the 6′ distance is still optimal between you and others. However, liberal scientists have told us that tests reveal the coronavirus doesn’t spread as easily when faced with social justice. If you’re a woke…

Read More

CNN Says ‘Truth Distancing’ Is What Sets Them Apart In Cable News Race

truth distancing

ATLANTA – As a practice, social distancing is a new way of life for most. CNN, on the other hand, has been distancing for decades. The lowly cable news outlet admits that ‘truth distancing’ is what has differentiated them from their competition. Network anchor Chris Cuomo said, “We’ve been ‘truth distancing’ since I was a baby. CNN didn’t used to practice that, but as more cable news channels popped up, we had to do something to stand out. Distancing ourselves from the truth is what the suits came up with,…

Read More