Skyscraper Raccoon’s Friends: Dude’s Always Been Adrenaline Junkie

ST. PAUL – A raccoon took a dare from a skunk who bet him he couldn’t scale a nearby 2-story house. The raccoon laughed, and then climbed to the top of a 25-story, city skyscraper. The embarrassed skunk slipped into the woods and hasn’t been seen since. But why did the raccoon do it? According to some of his forest friends, the raccoon has always been a little ‘off.’ “Dude’s always been an adrenaline junkie,” one jackrabbit said. “I’ve known him since we were little. He was always base jumping…

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Now Facebook Caught Performing Colonoscopies on Users Without Permission

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MENLO PARK – Social media giant Facebook has now been busted for performing colonoscopies and other invasive procedures on unsuspecting users, usually while they sleep or have passed out drunk. The platform has taken heat recently for abusing privacy laws as it tries to learn every detail of each user’s life. A whistleblower has come forward to reveal that Facebook has now crossed the line by going inside unaware users’ bodies, in an attempt to learn even more about each person’s existence. This has forced the founder to release a…

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