Progressive Phil Saw His Shadow Today, Six More Weeks of Whining

PUNXSUTAWNEY – Progressive Phil crawled out of his parent’s basement this morning and saw his shadow, meaning there will be six more weeks of whining for the country’s progressives. According to the Liberal Almanac, if Phil emerges from his hole on February 2, and Donald Trump is still president, there will be six more weeks of whining from those like him. For the past 8 years, the entire time Phil has worked at Starbucks, he hasn’t seen his shadow on this date. This indicated that Obama was still president, things…

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