Biden ‘No Malarkey’ Tour Aims To Abolish Malarkey Wherever It’s Found

IOWA – Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden is on a mission. He wants to eradicate malarkey wherever it rears its ugly head. His ‘No Malarkey’ tour is beginning here because Iowa has seen a frightening surge in malarkey this year. “In 2019, there’s no reason America should still be fighting malarkey,” Biden told a campaign event audience. “And just because millennial whippersnappers don’t know what the hell it means, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.” Biden is promising to ramp up his gaffe machine during the week-long tour. According to his…

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Clinton Tour’s Low Ticket Sales Strategy: Enter Free, Pay To Get Out

SUGAR LAND, TX – Bill and Hillary Clinton’s “Can’t Get Rid of Us Tour” has been having serious problems selling tickets to see their dog and pony show. A planned event here this week to listen to the famous grifters make excuses for all the ways America has failed them, has been postponed. Ticket sales were in the toilet, but the pair blamed the postponement on the death and funeral of former President George H. W. Bush. “Boy, I tell you what,” Bill Clinton said, “The Grim Reaper sure pulled…

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