Members Of Antifa Already Showing Signs Of Trump Withdrawal

Trump withdrawal

PORTLAND – While the presidential election is still not certified, President Trump faces an uphill fight to prove voter fraud charges. For Democrats, they’re already living in a world with Joe Biden in charge. But life will not be all rainbows and unicorns for those on the left. Doctors nationwide are already reporting a spike in Trump Withdrawal Symptoms (TWS). TWS is a condition found in those suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), for which there is no cure. Dr. Paul Bennett, who has a practice in Portland, said, “I’m…

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Scientists: Finding Coronavirus Vaccine Easier Than Cure For Trump Derangement Syndrome

coronavirus

OMAHA – Researchers at the University of Nebraska Medical Center are confident they’ll be able to come up soon with a vaccine that will counter the coronavirus outbreak. However, those same scientists are far less optimistic about finding a cure for Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS). Initially, there was hope that whatever vaccine worked to hold the coronavirus at bay could also be infused with a broad-spectrum anti-derangement agent. Unfortunately, the TDS component has failed to show positive results in clinical trials. “I think we’ll find a suitable vaccine for the…

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Feud Between Cuddling, Spooning Industries Intensifies Under Trump

CALIFORNIA – When you have a hard time dealing with reality, what do you do? Human nature is to try to learn to deal with whatever the problem is. But if you’re a progressive, college liberal, or low-info Democrat, that strategy is not going to work for you. Thus, the professional cuddling and the professional spooning industries have emerged to help those who need extra comforting. And business is booming during the Trump presidency. There is trouble in paradise though, as the competing businesses fight it out for snowflake dollars.…

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Democrats Demand Trump Start Paying Rent For Living In Their Heads

WASHINGTON – President Trump has been living rent-free in the heads of tens of millions of Democrats for well over a year now, and many are finally saying “enough is enough.” They now want reparations. “As the party of freeloaders, it pains me to say this,” a disturbed Senate Minority leader Chuck Schumer said on Saturday, “But if he’s going to live here 24/7, he needs to pay up.” Schumer was unsure when asked what he thought a fair price for head-space rental might be. Socialist Bernie Sanders admitted, “I…

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