Castaway Jack Dorsey Blames ‘Wilson’ For Censoring Conservatives On Twitter

WASHINGTON – Island castaway and Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey appeared via Zoom before a Senate committee this week. At issue is the ongoing censorship of conservative accounts on his platform. Meanwhile, accounts of progressives are never censored. Social media sites have been blocking the publication of posts detrimental to Joe Biden. The New York Post busted Biden and his family for corruption involving Communist China. Senator Ted Cruz let Jack have it. “Who the hell elected you, Mr. Dorsey, to be the arbiter of truth on social media?” The disheveled…

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Twitter Fact Check: Joe Biden Was Never Vice President

TWITTERVERSE – Democrat Joe Biden is in a heap of trouble these days. The presidential candidate and his son Hunter have been accused of some pretty bad behavior. It seems Hapless Joe has been accused of using the Biden name to enrich his own family for decades. The damning evidence on a “laptop from Hell,” as Joe calls it, could hurt Democrats’ chances of winning the White House in a couple of weeks. Fortunately for the Biden’s, the arbiters of truth in our society, Twitter and Facebook, have Joe’s back.…

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Facebook, Twitter Call A Lid On Hunter/Joe Biden ‘Smoking Gun’ Story

ONLINE – Facebook and Twitter, the social media wings of the Democrat Party, banned a story that made Joe Biden look bad. The ‘smoking gun’ article was published by the New York Post and proves corruption by Joe Biden. In light of the news, Biden called a lid on his campaign for the day. The platforms promptly followed by calling a lid on the unflattering story. “The New York Post story exposes Joe Biden for corruption involving his son Hunter and the Ukrainian company, Burisma. This could damage his 2020…

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Leftists Claim Founding Fathers Signed Blank Sheet Of Paper, Called It Constitution

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TWITTER – Liberals on Twitter slammed President Trump for what they claim is a picture of Mean Orange Man signing a blank sheet of paper. The picture was supposed to show that the president is still working, despite his ongoing treatment for coronavirus at Walter Reed Hospital. There is no way to tell from the picture what the president was signing, or if it had something printed on it. That hasn’t stopped leftists from taking to Twitter en masse to say the photo was staged. Since leftists are praying (some…

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Leftist Nightmare: Worse To Have Chinese Virus Or Hear Someone Call It Chinese Virus?

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CALIFORNIA – Progressives on the American Left are having a tough time right now. Besides a deep-down knowing that Donald Trump will be their president for four more years, this coronavirus thing is hitting them from all sides. Yesterday, the president called the coronavirus the “Chinese Virus.” The anguish on the left was immeasurable. And it unleashed a hellish conundrum for them. Is it more painful to actually contract and suffer through having the Chinese Virus…or is it much, much, much worse to hear someone call it that in person…

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Mitt Romney On Alter-Ego Pierre Delecto: I Wanted A Cool Nickname Like Beto

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UTAH – Beta-male Senator Mitt Romney has been busted for using a fake Twitter account to advance his anti-Trump efforts on social media. Is Romney a coward for doing this? Yes. Does Romney crave attention from the same establishment media that destroyed his presidential run in 2012? Yes. But Romney says the real reason is more innocent. “I just wanted a really, really cool nickname. Like ‘Beto,’ he explained. “I’m a beta-male, just like Beto, and being Pierre Delecto gives me the courage to say things online that I’m not…

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Republicans Complete Trade With Progressives, Kanye for Joe Scarborough, Others

LOS ANGELES – On the eve of the 2018 NFL Draft, the nation’s Republican base has inked a deal with progressives that has rapper Kanye West going to the Right. In the trade, the Left acquires MSNBC Beavis-look-a-like Joe Scarborough, CNN’s Anna Navarro, and three Never-Trumpers to be named later. Kanye filed for free (thinking) agency earlier this week when he tweeted comments supporting President Donald Trump. The rapper even posted pics of his autographed, red MAGA hat – an object whose sight affects those on the Left the same…

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Trump Plans to Live-Tweet During His SOTU Speech

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WASHINGTON – Following the reading of parts of Fire and Fury by Hillary Clinton at the Grammy’s this weekend, President Trump says he will live-tweet during his State of the Union speech Tuesday night. He said he plans to read excerpts from Hillary’s What Happened excuse book as well. When he’s not gesturing with his hands during his speech, he’ll be feverishly working his thumbs behind the podium to tweet about Jay-Z, Eminem, Joy Behar, Anna Navarro and many others. “I can maintain focus on letting the country know how…

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Cher Offers Home as Sanctuary, Tells DREAMERS “I Got You Babe”

MALIBU – Hollywood moonbat Cher is offering to open her home to “Dreamers” as a sanctuary to protect those children who arrived illegally in our country, and who have grown up in America, but remain illegal aliens. President Trump is hoping to discontinue Barack Obama’s unconstitutional DACA order, and that’s all Cher needed to hear to set her off. “That idiot in the White House wants to enforce immigration laws that are already on the books?!” a shell-shocked Cher shouted. “Over my dead, plastic body!!! He can go to hell. I’ll…

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Trump Charges Joe and Mika Fee for Letting World Know They Have a Show

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NEW YORK – If you host a cable show, but nobody watches it, does the show really exist? This is the predicament faced by MSNBC morning hosts “Psycho” Joe Scarborough and his snooty fiance, “Crazy” Mika Brezschgretsky, or something. If you don’t know who they are, you’re not alone. Psycho Joe and Crazy Mika have been annoying a very limited cable audience for years on a show called Morning Psycho Joe. After non-stop badgering of President Trump from the wannabe power couple, the president dropped a few MOAB tweets about them that…

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