Biden Considering Adding Vaccine To Girl Scout Cookies In Door-To-Door Push

door-to-door

WASHINGTON – Joe Biden wants to start a door-to-door campaign to get more Americans vaccinated. As part of his administration’s brilliant scheme, the Girl Scouts of America are being consulted as vaccine pushers. Slipping the vaccine into cookies may be an easy way to dupe those resistant to getting jabbed. Spokesgal Jen Psaki explained the idea to members of the press. “Who doesn’t love Girl Scout cookies?” she asked with a smile. “So if we can slip a small amount of the vaccine into cookies that are sold to the…

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Scientists: Finding Coronavirus Vaccine Easier Than Cure For Trump Derangement Syndrome

coronavirus

OMAHA – Researchers at the University of Nebraska Medical Center are confident they’ll be able to come up soon with a vaccine that will counter the coronavirus outbreak. However, those same scientists are far less optimistic about finding a cure for Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS). Initially, there was hope that whatever vaccine worked to hold the coronavirus at bay could also be infused with a broad-spectrum anti-derangement agent. Unfortunately, the TDS component has failed to show positive results in clinical trials. “I think we’ll find a suitable vaccine for the…

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Leading Democrats Ponder Funding Research for ‘Arrogance Vaccine’

WASHINGTON – Denying they have a problem, leaders of the Democratic Party are at least responding to talk from some on Capitol Hill who insist it’s way past time for Democrats to invest in finding a cure for the arrogance that plagues their party. However, a reliable vaccine could take years, if not decades, to make it to market. Secretary of Stupid, John Kerry, who many liken to being no smarter than a rock, said he doesn’t understand why money should be spent on such a vaccine. “In case you…

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