Pelosi Slams ‘Morbidly Obese’ Trump, Praises ‘Former Victoria’s Secret Model’ Stacey Abrams

morbidly obese

WASHINGTON – It’s common knowledge that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi lives in her own little world. So it was no surprise this week when she slammed President Trump for being ‘morbidly obese.’ She then went on to praise the imaginary governor of Georgia, Stacey Abrams, for being the picture of good health. Abrams is being considered as a VP pick for Democrat Joe Biden. Pelosi thinks Abrams would be a fine choice for the position. “In total contrast to the president, Ms. Abrams is the epitome of fitness and good…

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Biden Released Into Wild After Receiving Prez Medal of Freedom

WASHINGTON – Vice-President Joe Biden was released into the wilds of Loyalsock State Forest, in his beloved Pennsylvania, after being awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Obama. Biden was last seen running into the forest, shouting, “Y’all ain’t never puttin’ me back in chains!” Uncle Joe has needed his freedom from Washington for many years now, and it was nice to see him so happy again. Similar to “being put out to pasture,” Joe will live off the land, terrorize hikers, and dazzle all kinds of small, woodland…

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