Michigan Gov Whitmer Says She’ll Use Spells, Curses To Maintain Power Over Angry Peasants

Whitmer

LAND OF LANSING – Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer is not having a good lock-down. She’s been unpleasantly surprised at how the peasants have reacted to the authoritarian rule from her corrupt kingdom. She believes her power to be absolute as governor. Her legislature disagrees. In fact, not only will they not allow her edict to extend Michigan’s lock-down indefinitely, but they voted today to sue the witch for abusing her power. Currently, Queen Whitmer is trying to fend off several other Democrats around the country for the title of Worst…

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Trump Proposes Literally Building Wall Over Pelosi’s Dead Body

WASHINGTON – Hoping to avoid another shutdown, President Trump today proposed literally building his border wall or barrier directly over Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s dead body. According to his plans, her body would become the cornerstone in any future border structure. “You can tell by looking at her that she probably doesn’t have a lot of time left anyway,” a White House aide admitted. “She’s always threatening the president, saying, ‘You’ll get your border wall over my dead body!’ We’re just offering to take her up on that offer.” The president…

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