Disney Flying Freak Flag Over Magic Kingdom, Plans To ‘Gay Up’ Content

Disney

MAGIC KINGDOM – Woke Disney has promised to create new content for kids that is LGBTD+ friendly. The D stands for Disney. The move is apparently trying to capture that coveted “3-16 year old, sexually confused” demographic. The media company plans to shove the gay/trans lifestyle down consumer’s throats through new content, as well as ‘gaying up’ old fan favorites. Disney’s new CEO said, “We’ll be pandering to the LGBTD+ crowd with shows like That’s So Craven, Lezzie McGuire, Ken Possible, Good Tuck Charlie, Trannah Montana, Phineas Becomes Ferb, and…

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Biden Variant Responsible For Spike In Death Rates In Afghanistan

Biden variant

KABUL – A new strain of COVID-19 is currently wreaking havoc across Afghanistan. The Biden Variant is the latest version of the CoroNoDontBlameUs virus, which has resulted in a sharp spike in innocent deaths in the region. The Biden Variant was engineered by woke military leaders, and released on the world by US President Joke Biden. It’s a hideous disease. The administration combined incompetence, arrogance, corruption, indifference and stupidity to tweak the latest strain. The Biden Variant was then given to terrorists to serve as carriers of the virus. In…

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Officials Announce New ‘Social Justice Distancing’ Rules For Woke Protesters

social justice distancing

SEATTLE – We’re all familiar with ‘social distancing’ guidelines. Now, there are also ‘social justice distancing’ guidelines for the woke among us. City leaders here have outlined new rules for progressive protesters and looters, to keep them safe in the Covid-19 age. According to a press release on Friday, “If you’re around people in normal situations, the 6′ distance is still optimal between you and others. However, liberal scientists have told us that tests reveal the coronavirus doesn’t spread as easily when faced with social justice. If you’re a woke…

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