PHILADELPHIA – The suits at Pepsico/Quaker Foods have cowered to the rage mob of the American Left. The company makes Aunt Jemima products, and has decided to bow to pressure from Black Lives Matter (BLM) and other extremists by replacing the iconic mascot. The likeness of a former slave has been used on the product line for over a century.
“We’ve decided to go with ‘Aunt Jeremiah’ as our new mascot for the product line,” a company spokesman said. “Jeremiah is a character who has completed their transition from uncle to aunt, is glam but not threatening, and also loves pancakes. We think she/her/he/it is the right fit at this time in our history.”
He continued, “Aunt Jeremiah replaces Aunt Jemima as the face of our brand. This decision will appease our customers in the black community. At the same time, ‘Jeremiah’ will fit in with the transgender agenda that we and other woke corporations are forcing the American public to accept.”
The company also said that they look forward to Aunt Jeremiah becoming a part of our pop culture, and hope she/her/he/it will be a popular brand for generations to come. “We’ll continue to use the new character on our products, until such a time that transgender folks start burning down the country like BLM has. Cross your fingers!”