WASHINGTON – Hoping to avoid another shutdown, President Trump today proposed literally building his border wall or barrier directly over Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s dead body. According to his plans, her body would become the cornerstone in any future border structure.
“You can tell by looking at her that she probably doesn’t have a lot of time left anyway,” a White House aide admitted. “She’s always threatening the president, saying, ‘You’ll get your border wall over my dead body!’ We’re just offering to take her up on that offer.”
The president said he would honor Pelosi’s contribution to border security by allowing her feet to protrude out from under the part of the wall that will sit directly on top of her. For her part, Nancy said she won’t consent to the plan unless she has guarantees that her broom will be buried with her.
“I think Nancy may not be looking at this plan the right way,” Trump explained. “This will allow her to become a permanent fixture under our wall, and give her a legacy of caring about our nation’s security – something she doesn’t have now.”
The president said he could break ground on a new border structure just as soon as Pelosi agrees to take one for the team.