SEOUL – With North Korea’s crazy little boy leader flexing his military muscle recently by launching missiles toward Japan, the United States is sending in the big guns to show support for our allies in the region. President Trump has ordered rock group The B-52’s to South Korea immediately.
“I just want them to Roam around near the demilitarized zone, along the Korean border,” Trump stated. “Kim Jong-un will be plenty nervous once he sees our B-52’s positioned so close to his country. That, I can assure you.”
B-52 Fred Schneider said he will definitely have his cowbell ready, just in case there’s any trouble. The entire band will travel in their Chrysler because it seats about 20. They’ll be staying at a Love Shack, a little old place where they can get to-ge-therrrr.
When asked what kinds of tactical maneuvers the band plans to employ to intimidate the North Korean fat boy, B-52 Kate Pierson said the group plans a lot of “huggin’ and a kissin,’ dancin’ and a lovin,’ wearin’ next to nothin,’ cause it’s hot as an oven.”
President Trump gave the B-52’s as much jukebox money as they needed to get the job done. A member of the US Army, Private Idaho, will be the group’s guide during the mission. Finally, if all else fails and the little dictator refuses to back down, the B-52’s plan to poison his Rock Lobster.