‘Twas the Night Before VaXmas
‘Twas the night before VaXmas, when in the White House
Not a Biden was stirring, except Jill’s inept spouse;
Face masks were hung by the chimney with care,
As the president readied his next variant scare;
The Commies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of lockdowns danced in their heads;
And Jill in her nightie, and I, tired as crap,
Had just settled down for my 4th or 5th nap,
When then on the news there arose so much chatter,
Joe Manchin, they said, had my agenda in tatters!
Away to the TV I flew in a flash,
Mandates and inflation had sparked a backlash.
Why won’t the peasants just obey old Joe?
So what if I wanna take all of their dough?
When what to my squinting eyes should appear,
But a miniature doctor, spreading tons of covid fear,
He was a short little doc, so Jewish and quick,
I knew in a moment ‘twas Fauci, interviewed by some chick.
More rapid than test results, the unvaxxed he’d blame,
And he listed our saviors, and called them by name:
“Now Pfizer! now ‘Derna! now Johnson & Johnson!
On first shot! on second! on booster and then some!
To the unvaxxed and unjabbed, who ignore my call,
May this surge be your purge, to hell with you all!”
As I watched in amazement at his unvaxxed attack,
I realized I’d always have this quack’s back,
His data – how it dazzled, his advice – be wary!
His lies smelled like roses, Omicron is scary!
This droll little man, the company line he’d tow
And he’d blame variant fears on political foes,
On the efficacy of vaccines he lied through his teeth,
And the BS he spewed circled round like a wreath;
He confused the masses with each appearance on the telly,
His scientific pronouncements as concrete as jelly,
If you’re chubby or plump, he’d shout ‘Get the shot!’
Then he’d downplay the chances of getting a clot;
But compared to Trump, I have piled up more dead,
It was clear I was in way over my head,
Without The Fauch, our control scheme wouldn’t work
And if anyone doubts him, he shows them his smirk,
But I’m getting the feeling the people all know
That our many scare tactics are just for show
Our fear porn works well on Democrat sheep,
But I fear most Americans aren’t as dumb as my Veep,
For wherever I go they exclaim without abandon,
“Merry Christmas to all, and Let’s Go, Brandon!”