VP Harris Visits Guatemala/San Salvador Border To Quell Criticism She’s Ignoring Border Crisis

GUATEMALA – Kamala Harris is sick of peasants who say she’s been avoiding going to the border. She’s currently on a talking tour in Central America to show that she’s pretending to care about America’s border crisis.

The VP was visibly pissed when NBC’s Lester Holt questioned why she hasn’t visited the border to see for herself how bad things really are there. So she decided to call Lester’s bluff. This afternoon, in a surprise move, Harris showed up at the border between Guatemala and San Salvador.

Guatemala

“See? I’ve gone to a border now. Are you happy? Can you people stop asking me why I haven’t gone to the border yet? I’m here, outside beautiful San Cristobal, and everything looks peaceful. I see no migrants trying to cross here. In fact, looking at a local map, there isn’t even a Rio Grande River anywhere in either one of these two countries. Frankly, I think you’re all making that river up. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

“What is this obsession with me going to the border?” she asked reporters as she walked back to her limo. “Lester said I haven’t been to the border. I haven’t been to the moon either. I haven’t been to a lot of places. What’s his point?”

As she was about to get in the car, she turned and said, “The next reporter who says I haven’t visited the border, I’ll have shot.” Then she cackled that awful cackle she has as Secret Service whisked her away.

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