WASHINGTON – Coronavirus is still a huge issue in our society, but America has a new foe to deal with on top of it – the Asian Murder Hornet. They’re pretty scary creatures with a painfully, toxic sting, and an appetite for destroying honeybees.
But the murder hornets haven’t dealt with an enemy like Donald Trump yet. Today, the president appointed VP Mike Pence to lead a new task force against the murderous hoard of insects. And Democrats are not happy about it.
“The president is doing what he did with regard to immigrants invading our southern border,” Speaker Nancy Pelosi said. “These hornets are foreigners, coming over from Japan and Asia, simply looking for a better life, with new hives to pillage. What does the president do? He immediately refers to them as murderers. He’s a complete bee-ist. I find it indefensible.”
“I’m sure some of those hornets are very nice pests,” she continued, “They can’t all be murderers. And while we’re at it, those of us on the Left would prefer they be (no pun intended) called ‘Homicide Hornets.’ It sounds far less degrading.”
Many others on the Left criticized the president. From his slow action to deal with the insects to his political incorrectness. Congressman Adam Schiff said Trump should have stationed gigantic canisters of Raid up and down the West Coast to be ready for the hornets’ arrival.
Senator Chuck Schumer was embarrassed for the country. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more xenophobic bee-ist. My heart breaks for those innocent creatures.”
Responding to criticism from the Left, President Trump is considering renaming the pests. “Judging by their nature of invading, being a pain in the ass, and destroying things that we’ll all have to pay for in the future…I’d say we should call them Democratic hornets.”