WASHINGTON – What’s worse than one shrill woman (Hillary Clinton)? Two shrill women. Elizabeth Warren is that other woman. And as the 2020 Democratic primary season heats up, rumors are flying that the two shrillettes are talking together behind the scenes.
After all, for Warren, who better to seek advice from than the previous loser? Liz may just be asking for advice on which states to skip during a campaign run. But who is more shrill? The question is causing deep division within the party itself.
Tom Perez, head of the DNC, said, “There’s no question Elizabeth is more shrill. Being shrill is a good thing, right? I mean, I think anybody who has a voice like nails on a chalkboard is more endearing and likable to the average American. I know the average American Indian loves it. That was Hillary’s downfall…she wasn’t shrill enough!”
ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, who still lives up the Clintons’ butt, disagrees. “No way anybody is shriller than Hillary. Trust me, I’ve seen her at her worst. She’s made my ears bleed on more than one occasion. But I do agree that it’s very close. My hat’s off to Liz. She’s very annoying.”
According to most likely Democratic voters though, Warren is off the shrillometer. The word is defined as: high-pitched and piercing in sound quality and betraying some strong emotion or attitude in an exaggerated amount, as antagonism or defensiveness.
We’ve seen Lizzy speak. She gets our vote for being the shrillest. Four years of her voice would be unbearable.