WeakiLeaks: Obama’s Version of Possible Cyber War With Russia

WASHINGTON – Russia’s President Putin can invade neighboring countries, meddle in war torn Syria, cyber bully lesser countries, and pretty much do whatever he wants and not get a peep out of the 90-pound weakling that is President Obama. But once Russian hackers start causing trouble for a Democratic presidential candidate – well, that’s where he draws a firm red line in the sand (with evaporating ink).

The emails being made public by WikiLeaks have embarrassed Hillary Clinton, her corrupt campaign team, and even cost former DNC chairmonster, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, her job after it was revealed she had rigged the primaries for Mrs. Clinton. Obama now plans to retaliate.


President Obama’s clandestine cyber warfare program, codename: WeakiLeaks, is meant to teach Putin a lesson. For those without a dictionary handy, “clandestine” means – to announce to the world; to make sure your enemy knows you’re coming ahead of time; to telegraph one’s intentions. Clandestine operations are Mr. Obama’s specialty.

His actions are not without merit though. According to our US Constitution, “any action taken by a foreign government, in an attempt to embarrass the Democratic Party in any way, shall be considered to be hostile to American interests, and an act of war.”

So, as you can see, President Obama’s hands are really tied on this one. Take us to DEFCON 2, Mr. President.


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3 Thoughts to “WeakiLeaks: Obama’s Version of Possible Cyber War With Russia

  1. I’ve heard a rumor from a highly placed Washington source that Obama’s “reaction” to Russia is to insert code into all of their chess tutorial programs so that no one ever wins…everything comes out a draw. People learning chess will get bored with it (like we did with tic-tac-toe), and drop the game. That will insure that a Swede will be able to be the world grand master chess champion! At least that’s what I heard. I could be wrong.

    1. E. Williams

      The only winning move is not to play.

  2. Lynn Herlihy

    Clean as a scapel

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