WASHINGTON – The White House acknowledged today that Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has been on paternity leave for two months. Meanwhile, America’s logistics system is a mess, and getting worse. Biden mouthpiece Jen Psaki updated reporters today on the situation.
“As many of you know, Secretary Buttigieg and his husband recently welcomed two children into their family. However, it was a difficult adoption, and that’s why Pete has been on paternity leave the past 2 months. Unfortunately, because he’s kind of a wuss, doctors had to perform an episiotomy on Pete. He’s been recovering from that. We hope he can return soon to help with the logistical nightmare that our administration created at our ports.”
Doctors won’t elaborate on Pete’s procedure, but as a birthing/adopting person, sometimes an episiotomy is ordered – usually on a woman but, in today’s world, doctors don’t ask many questions regarding gender. They also won’t reveal whether Buttigieg has started getting his period again. The only info doctors would give is that Pete had been complaining of very sore nipples. However, they attributed that condition to his husband’s persistent twisting, and not on becoming a new parent.
Psaki also pointed out that while a global, supply-chain crisis is a big deal to hundreds of millions of people, it’s nothing compared to the bond that will be created between Buttigieg and his children during these months of paid leave. “Keep healing, Pete! Our mess will still be here when you come back,” she said.