What’s Wrong With Him? Biden Won’t Stop Calling Lids

DELAWARE – On the eve of the first 2020 presidential debate, rumors keep swirling around Joe Biden’s mental state. The main concern for many is that the Democrat nominee won’t stop calling Lids – the cap store located in many shopping malls. He’s called them almost half the days in September alone.

Usually, Biden calls Lids early in the morning. Speaking to CNN’s Jake Tapper over the weekend, Dr. Jill Biden tried to downplay her husband’s behavior. “Look, Jake, Joe loves hats. Simple as that. And when he sees one he really likes, he’ll call Lids after Lids. It’s an obsession, really.”

Some managers for the hat retail chain are not convinced though. Marcus Tisdale, from a store in Concord Mall in Wilmington, thinks there’s a problem. “Dude calls us all the time. He’s seriously got too much time on his hands, man. One time, he even asked if our refrigerator was running. I don’t get it.”

Lids
An employee at the entrance fields yet another call from the Biden campaign.

Marjorie Rollins manages the store in Ross Park Mall in Pittsburgh. “I’m worried for him. He calls sometimes about a particular cap that he called about the day before. He doesn’t remember. One day he asks about a Philadelphia Phillies cap, then it might be a Washington Football Team hat the next. Sometimes, he tries to disguise his voice to sound like Obama, but he’s not very good at it. It’s him. We know.”

Stores across the east coast have reported such frequent calls that they bordered on harassment. After tracing the calls, mall security companies say all of them originated from a landline in Biden’s basement.

A Freedom of Information request for Biden’s phone records confirmed that Joe has called Lids every other day on average, and that’s just this month!

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