WASHINGTON – Following the deaths of 13 US military members in Afghanistan, President Joke Biden needed a distraction. He needed to drone attack somebody over there – anybody. Then claim it was some really bad guys. After getting caught lying about who they killed in the drone attack, the spin was on.
General Mark Milley, a self-described Paul Revere, said the attack was supposed to take out those who planned the Kabul Airport attack. Instead, Biden’s drone strike killed an aid worker and 9 others, including 7 children.
“While unfortunate, we won’t be holding anyone accountable for our mistake,” Milley told reporters. “We never do. In fact, we actually did those 10 victims a favor. I’m sure had we not rained down hellfire on them, they would have died a future, gruesome death at the hands of the Taliban. This way, they never knew what hit them. Consider it a mercy killing, for lack of a better term. So, to the families of those killed, you’re welcome.”
Milley went on to say that Biden was leaning toward nuking the entire Kabul Airport, but was persuaded to approve the drone strike instead. “When you look at the alternative, we saved untold lives that would have been vaporized at the airport. I’d say that makes us heroes, wouldn’t you?”
The inept general also confirmed he had contacted the innocent aid worker to warn him of incoming. “I warned a potential enemy of what was coming, before the bombs started falling….like I always do.”
Finally, Milley admitted, “I’m a little envious of those we killed, honestly. They no longer have to live in a world filled with white rage or transgender issues, like the rest of us.”