NEW YORK – It’s all about racial equality. The NFL is totally woke and they don’t want you to forget it. It’s not just adding ‘End Racism’ messages in end zones, and letting players add black victims’ names to their uniforms. Their wokeness may soon extend to the game itself.
“We’re already well on or way to ruining the sport for fans with this race stuff,” commissioner Roger Goodell explained. “So the next thing we’re talking about doing is telling white players not to tackle black players. We must have equality in all aspects of the game.”
“For some fans, a white guy tackling a black man, and taking him to the ground, could hit too close to home,” Goodell continued. “We don’t want to trigger anybody. Now, a black player can take down another black player, because the Black Lives Matter group that runs our league today are totally cool with black-on-black violence.
Think about it. A black player attempts to fight off a tackle. That could be construed as ‘resisting’ in some fan’s minds. Next thing you know, there might be two more white guys ganging up to slam that black man to the turf. It scares me to think of the unease that image might cause in some communities.”
Seattle Seahawks coach Pete Carroll, a self-appointed scholar in black history and America’s racial failings, said the move would result in some high scoring games. “If black players are allowed to run up and down the field unmolested, that’s a lot of quick scores. But if that’s what BLM wants, that’s what fans will get.”