EASTWICK, RI – Friday night at midnight, some of the world’s leading witches gathered to cast a spell against President Donald Trump AND all of his supporters. They chanted and asked the dark forces they worship to banish Trump from office, and punish his supporters.
The witches were lead by Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Ashley Judd, Gloria Steinem, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Elizabeth Warren. They asked for other witches to join them around the world in their quest to overturn the results of the last election. And to make sure every witch was on the same page, they published the tools needed to perform the spell on the internet:
- First, pray to the evil forces for protection from the evil forces that you’re going to ask them to unleash on those you label as evil.
- Required items – eye of newt (Gingrich), candles, a feather, money from George Soros, a constitutional amendment abolishing the Electoral College, and something orange.
- Perform the following chant against Trump – “Hear me, O’Bama/ Of water, fire, earth, and air/ This election was unfair/ And what about that awful hair?…..Demons of democratic realms/ Teddy Kennedy’s ghost as well/ Banish Trump forever more/ And save us from this hell.”
President Trump doesn’t seem too worried by the witchcraft being aimed his way, insisting that he already defeated the head witch last November. And, despite the witches’s best efforts, Hillary Clinton is STILL not president.